Its been quite some time since the commonwealth games have been over…things went well, in fact i thought it was quite a show put forward in-spite of the negative publicity that was in the air prior to the games. In the build up to the games, there was extreme apprehension about how the nasty Delhi traffic will react to the changes made by the administration. I think that went well too…people do respond to rules if they are enforced in an effective manner, which also goes on to say a lot more about us as a civilized mature society..
I think i went a bit off track…i do have a lot of material on the commonwealth games, how they were organized, so on and so forth, but i want to use this space to write about my observations on a very typical habit of the privileged vehicle owners of this country especially our national capital…their desire to ‘honk’ while driving. For the past few months i have had the pleasure of driving across Delhi, almost everyday, and along with a few other things, the honking patterns have been very interesting to note.
So here is my assessment of the various types of honkers we have around:
- The “I’m sitting on my horn” honker – This kind of variety is special. They want you to know that they are in a hurry, and that their getting to an eventual destination is way more important than you doing the same. In order to make it extremely obvious, these creatures will use only one of their hands to drive the vehicle. The other hand is reserved almost exclusively for the horn. Once pressed in a comfortable position, the non driving hand mystically gets stuck to the horn, and stays in that position until they get to wherever they have to go. Try this…get your vehicle behind one of these honkers, and you will sail through the traffic with relative ease..after all everything has its plus points!
- The ‘beep beep for attention’ honker – The ‘beep beep for attention’ honkers have exceptional talents. Their kind have been mentioned in a few stand up acts of Jerry Seinfeld himself; pretty impressive haan. These guys will honk at you, especially at you ladies, until they get your attention. And of course, as soon as you do look at them, they will run for their life, leaving you quite amazed at exactly what the deal was in the first place.
- The ‘twisted face twisted hand’ honker – Ahaan…the queer one…this variety has its own qualities too. They have issues, big ones; the office, their home, love life…everything is a bit screwed at various levels. And so, quite obviously they are looking for answers – from you. So you are driving down calmly, or walking on the street, minding your own business, and suddenly you hear a honk, and then another one, and you look behind, and their is this guy, with a question mark on his face, and his right hand gestured as if wanting to ask you something. Naah…They are not actually asking you to move out of their way; they are asking you to help them unscrew some of their issues…do remember that from now on!!
- The “Rebel” honker – The rebel honker is what you can plainly call, a serious ‘ass’. These folks will drive through the lanes of the busiest places in the city without honking, but as soon as they get to a “No honking zone”, they’ll realize what they have been missing out on, and then their hands will make sweet love to the horn of their vehicle, until of course they pass through that zone. All this while the meekly law abiding citizens of the city gaze at them in absolute disdain. So much for traffic rule enforcement.
I dont think this is where the list ends, but maybe there is much that i haven’t experienced yet. How about you guys? Have you seen other categories of this ever growing clan of honkers, and of course whats your driving honk? Enlighten me…
PS – Thanking my wife for her inputs on this one…thanks